Internet Dating. Rapidly growing online Personals.

No one anymore denies the important role of American military forces in creating the Internet, but the credits for the growth of its popularity belongs to academical circles - to scientists and never the less to students. Not so long ago Internet mostly reminded of and American campus area with its lecture-rooms, huge library and lots of places, where students could associate in leisure and singles could meet each other.

Today the Net becomes more and more alike American Megalopolis, where university is no longer a central sight and is even lost in the middle of virtual shops, bars, restaurants, discos, national squares and places of entertainment for masses and individuals. This city also became available to any inhabitant; moreover, one is constantly persuaded and invited there. The leaders in this are of course Americans, who take very good care of the inhabitant (only of course, if he pays taxes), at the same time analysing and discussing from all point of views, the effect of the Internet on the average citizen. Results of such researches are published for public judgement.

One of the problems of Internet, as a new environment of communication, appeared to be the effect of it on the relations between people. Many of its aspects gained scandalous popularity ( for example, attempt to forbid "strong expressions" or virtual pornography), others on the other hand are discussed relevantly calmly for a long period of time and they still remain as never-ending source of argues and opinions. One of those subjects still is "love over correspondence" as it is called today "e-mail romance".

Why do they appear? First of all, Internet makes all the distances short and communication between people sharing the same interests reasonably easier. Many people meet in newsgroups, some meet for the first time in chat room or MUD, others find their virtual "soul mate" by the pure accident, even there are some newsgroups (alt.romance and alt.soulmates) to ease the search and web pages that allow you to share your private information and get the answer via anonym e-mail service.

Besides, Internet allows certain stage of anonymity, even without using the services of unknown server, the user feels him/her self enough incognito, hiding behind his/her e-mail address. Many people think that, that is what makes it possible for them to win their shy nature and allows them to communicate freely, forgetting their lack of looks and ignoring numerous conditions, unavoidable during the real date (" the difference between the real date, here you don't need to be afraid of spilling the wine on the table or dropping the shrimp on your pants" ). And of course expressing your thoughts in written form, according to widely spread opinion, reveals their contents better. The massive atmosphere of unpunishment sometimes makes the quite and calm people in real life turn into implacable electronic flamers, ready to burn marks with hot iron on all opinions that don't mach their own or the opinions of their chosen one and only one's. Often the romance started from the adoring letter like "You really showed him there!!!". In other words, screen and keyboard, simultaneously take apart and bring closer the communicators, giving the opportunity to be them selves.

One of the facts, in rapidly growing virtual romance, appears to be the fast exchange of messages. Among the user of the Internet normal mail even got it self nickname "snail mail". The dream of the millennium for the lovers - instant delivery of their messages - basically became reality. That's why most of the love affairs over the Internet moves forward rapidly, and the most part of it is in writing e-mails, even quite a lot attention is given to the on-line conversation. Nowadays there even exist several unofficial rules, for example:

1.. When revealing your true being, avoid subjects about everyday life, after all the romance over the Internet awakes, first of all, between people sharing the same values.

2.. Always keep up the discussion in the gentle tone. Life is to short to be spent on complaining over the e-mail.

In some cases little sarcasm is allowed, but only if it's taken as a joke. Remember that uncareful statements can turn into the real "battle" only because in was falsely interpretated. Don't judge other for spreading the gossip, but try not to do it yourself.

3.. Never discuss the possibilities of turning the correspondence into something more, to avoid scaring the sender. Allow him/her to smoothly gain this quality.

4.. Always follow the good behaviour, but don't pretend to be the saint. Remember that it's very important to choose and keep up the right tone.

5.. Special carefulness should be applied when discussing the intimate maters (if it gets so far). There is no reason for turning yourself into a sex maniac, even if your writing to Madonna.

6.. Save your e-mails and answers, so you'll have something to remember. Romance within e-mail doesn't leave out its lacks and dangers. Many of those, who created them selves the ideal appearance of "soul mate" exclusively over the e-mails, sometimes can't find enough courage for a phone conversation or meeting in the real life, because those "first dates" usually turns out to be the last for many virtual romances, when the appearance, age (and sometime even sex) of "soul mate" don't quite mach with the what he/she wrote about him/her self in the passionate messages. Lying in e-mails is easy and natural. Some people can even start lively correspondence with several receivers, to ease writing the letters, they send pre made abstract containing only name and some phrases. The lie can't be found in the eyes or behaviour, because one who lies is protected by distance. That's why you should think twice before sharing your secret thoughts with your "soul mate" ore one who pretends to be such. The truth is that the brake up even of the virtual relationship tends to leave marks: there are cases, when the result of sudden brake up in correspondence appears as psychoses and different forms of paranoia, followed by fear that the ex-correspondent can use the private mails for dirty purposes. And it must be said that this fears don't turn out without a cause: in January this year an American from New Jersey sued his own wife for her correspondence with a man from South Carolina, whom she has never met in real life.

Despite such cases, "love at the first message" exists and flourishes, in many cases turning into basic platonic romance of poor students, separated by thousands of kilometres, and others turning into reality, even "virtual" wedding, such as wedding of American Lisa Grosso and Englishman Andrew Hunt. Their virtual romance lasted for almost a year, after which they announced (again in the Internet) of their engagement, and Lisa moved to her fiance in England. At the end of the year the wedding took place starting from virtual blessing of the English priest, combined with signatures of marriage contract, sent via fax from America. Of course the whole ceremony was sent on-line with the help of equipments for e-video meetings in Internet.

Even events like this are made for self advertisement, their existence alone tells that with some fortune two people can find each other over the Internet. So far the English speakers are privileged, those who can read with enormous speed not being afraid of huge e-mails. It also depends on trusting one another and on time zones as well. "Romance" over the internet, as it is in the real life - is first of all patience and hard work. But all the efforts are rewarded plenty.