Cheaters... A deeper look at happy family life.

No matter how long we discuss unfaithfulness, it’s always not enough. It seems, as long as men and women exist, this dispute will always be endless. Humanity has fought against it –even at comparatively mild pagan times, unfaithful ones always were punished with cruelty; adultery still remains the most common sin of humanity.

Unfaithfulness is painful and people treat it as inevitable evil. Almost 90% of women (they are the most common victims) admit that not a single family can avoid it. And men talking privately about their liaisons, don’t pretend to be offended innocence.Psychologists, however, suggest to go father and regard it as something useful (in some cases).

“What is going on ?”our grannies would protest. Dissipation, degradation! How can it be regarded useful? But specialists are sure that some families wouldn’t exist even a year if it were not for unfaithfulness of one of the spouses.   

It doesn’t concern some individuals for whom unfaithfulness is a commonplace, like going to the toilet every day. Any psychologist would say with confidence: this person is not ready for a family life, so there is no need to talk about his loyalty.

Already for 7 years you’ve been watching a happy family life of your friend and suddenly find out that her husband found a mistress… There is something to think of. In this situation not only a woman feels uncomfortable but a man as well.

What makes our beloved act like this and then regret doing it for a long time? First of all, inevitable family crises. There are at least 3 of them.

The first happens during the third year of married life. The fact is that acute feelings that we call love last no more than 2 years. Then everything calms down, relations develop into a different quality, become maybe even more tender and sincere than before. But to accept this calmness and smoothness that replaced a tempest  is not easy for some people.

Both girls and boys can start hesitating if love really existed or it was just a dream. Hidden discontent with your partner and yourself appears, you want to change something, immediately. That’s when a mistress appears, beautiful, unconventional…

Almost the same happens during the seventh year of marriage. Some married couples survive through the first crisis  without difficulties (especially, if children are born during this period), but they are caught in a maze for the second time.

And the most severe is the third crisis, which comes in 17-20 years. Children have grown up, left their home. Parents can finally have a sigh of relief and dedicate their lives to themselves. But by this time they understand that it’s too late to make the most sacred dreams come true.

Women start looking at themselves more carefully in the mirror, being terrified at the sight of deep wrinkles. Men suffer seeing a growing belly and thinning hair. And everybody seeks consolation and proofs for himself/herself that nothing is lost. Nobody wants to get old.

Divorce becomes the result of the crisis called “mean age of the family”, but more often the couple starts living a separate life within the limits of one flat. Sometimes they live like this till the end of their lives.

And in all these cases unfaithfulness becomes a kind of a magic wand, especially for a man. What can you do if men haven’t found for ages a better way to gain self-assertion and believe in their own value? But for a woman a man’s unfaithfulness cannot be the end of life. Especially if instead of rows and arguments she will sit up and think a little of what happened. Because very often in the scurry of life we stop taking care of ourselves, forget to tell our husband a couple of nice words and to give a bit of our attention and care. And he needs it so much!

Unfaithfulness makes a wise woman take a deeper look on herself as it cannot be only one side’s responsibility. By the way, if you know for sure what happened, according to psychologists, you shouldn’t make a row.   It’s better to pretend that nothing happened, and instead of sorting out your relationship, you’d better show your better  half that all he was looking for away from home can be found at home, and even better than that.